February 2022

February has been a whirlwind. Some days I don’t even know what day it is or what is going on. Typically, I put out two posts a month. Not this month….

I always try to be real and honest. This month may be more raw than I typically get. So much has gone on. I don’t want to forget the way that God has worked. And I feel it is important to show people more than just the smiling face you typically see.

When the month began, I felt like I had everything planned out. If you know me, you know that I am a planner. I like for things to go the way that I have decided they will go. God has been working on me with this and I have gotten better, but I have a long way to go. The first day of the month went mostly as planned, we visited a school. It was supposed to be two schools but one of the schools was closed due to an excessive amount of rain. In that area, kids can’t get to school when there is too much rain. Then the second day came. We were going to two schools again. I left my house at 6:30am and got back into Simon about 5pm. Things went well that day. When we got back, I was exhausted but decided to stop by a friends before heading home. About 5:30pm we got a terrifying phone call. There had been an accident. There wasn’t much info, we just knew that we were needed. That night was a very long night. I can’t say that I remember everything that happened. Things come and go into my memory. I did write down what I remember for the family. A father and his two youngest children had driven a fourwheeler off of a cliff. Their full story can be read at this link: https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/schrockfamily. I saw God work that night in ways I can’t say I have seen so vividly before. I would prefer for the family to tell their story, not me. The 3rd was a much better day, the two members of the family who were the most injured were doing much better. Emotions were (and are) still crazy, but physically things were looking hopeful. It was amazing to see how the missionary community and our Haitian family and friends came together.

The next few days were a little crazy. Trying to stay out of the way but keep helping with the family, trying to keep emotions at bay but process things. I told a friend that when the adernaline wore off we could have a good cry together. It’s one of those life things. We all know that bad things can happen at any time. But they would never happen to us. I don’t really remember much of that weekend. I just know I was looking forward to Monday.

On Monday the 7th, Mama was to come in. Her flight from Jax got delayed which forced her to stay overnight in Miami. After the normal stress of work and the stress and emotions of the accident, I just wanted to see my Mama. Because of her delay, she came in 24 hours late and wasn’t able to make up that day. Plans kept changing around what we would do while she was here and with who. We wound up having a wonderful time regardless. A day at the beach, a day at work where she met her sponsored child, restful evenings together, spending time with other missionaries, etc. It is always nice to have her here but never long enough. Oti quite likes it too!! Mama flew out on the 14th.

Some of my closest friends left on the 12th to find the other half of their family in the States. I am thankful that they are able to be together but pretty sad that they aren’t here with me. With all that has been going around here, I feel like there seems to be a constant swirl of tragedy and change around us. It’s hard to face when you feel alone.

To say that it has been a hard month would be an understatement. But it also wouldn’t be telling the entire story. There have been so many wonderful times, evenings chatting with Mama, having dinner with a friend, puppy snuggles galore, a beach day, devotions that touch the heart, and so much more. It’s been a month of learning and growing, of seeing beyond the hard to the good. A friend going through a tough time right now shared with me the other day that the days may be hard but God is still good. And that’s it, God is still good. I’ve been reading The Path of Loneliness by Elisabeth Elliot. What a book….sometimes I wonder why I do these things to myself. I know I feel lonely but wow…I didn’t realize how bad it was until I started reading what others have been through and the proper way to combat it. At one point she talks about God giving the Israelites manna. They wanted the good food they had in Egypt, not manna. But if God would’ve given them the option, they never would’ve eaten the manna. Sometimes God makes us hungry to realize just how much we need Him. And if you’re like me, you forget often.

This month has been a month of reminding me just how much I need the Lord. And for that I am so thankful.