Typically, I try to do an update each month. These last few months have been different. It certainly is not that I didn’t have time to update, but rather that I didn’t know how. This fall has been a very difficult time for the country of Haiti. Many Haitians are still suffering and are in seriously uncertain times. I don’t know how to explain it all and won’t attempt to. I often feel guilty because I do not suffer in the way that so many of my Haitian family and friends do. I cannot begin to explain things because I can’t begin to understand them all. I have seen a difference in my life but it is nothing compared to what the average Haitian is experiencing.

In August, things started getting a little dicey one could say. I don’t recall all the dates but know that we were back and forth between open and closed. Things started to get a little interesting in September. On the 7th, we closed due to some things happening in the country. We returned on the 12th but quickly had to close again on the 14th. We did not officially open back up again until November 7th. There were some days between those two dates where people were working but very cautiously. During these days, I was at home. Every once in a while, when we were told it was safe, we would quickly go to the grocery store and return. We used extreme precaution (and continue to do so). As of now, there is no real resolution to the many issues Haiti is facing. However, things seem to have calmed down (for now, and prayerfully for a good amount of time).

During these months at home, I did what I could to stay busy. I spent much of my time in prayer, contacting my Haitian friends and family when possible, and crying out for them. September held many girls days. Kambria had us all glammed up, painting our nails and having us watch My Little Pony (or anything with unicorns). Sabina did hair several times. We laughed at silly dogs and enjoyed time together. I have come to greatly appreciate these days. While I missed working so much, it was nice to spend time with the missionaries that I do not always have time to spend with. To bond with each other on a deeper level.

October was another month of being home. At this point, you would think we would be well rested. It’s amazing how exhausting sitting around can be! We managed to have some good times. A sweet missionary friend is in her passport country with her husband here in Haiti. Due to lack of internet and cell service, they hadn’t spoken to each other in weeks. We stuck our phones together to make it happen. I was glad to meet the sweet baby boy of a friend in October. We spent many days picking avocados and doing whatever else we could find to do. Sabina taught Lydianne and I how to make a good Haitian meal and in return I taught her how to make fried rice and later we made ice cream as well. I have so enjoyed getting to spend this time with Sabina. I have known her and considered her a friend for years. If you remember, she is the one who stays at my house with Oti while I am away. It’s been such a pleasure to get to know her better. We have shared a lot about our upbringings. It is crazy how many things about our childhoods were the same even with living in such different countries. I cherish this time and this relationship.

November came in with a bang. Agape had slowly started coming while carefully watching how things would be here in Haiti. I still had so much stuff for the new house there. I was able to receive things this month! You can see Sabina on the new couch with Otis trying to get in there. All of my fencing came in and I am excited for this project to start. There are still several things that need to be done at the house but when they are all done, I will be sharing more photos. I enjoyed rooftop sunset ice cream with dear friends and caught a photo of the cutest. On November 7th, we were back to the office! It was such a blessing to return and see everyone. To get to spend time in devotions worshipping together. Our suntech team was already hard at work on the 7th and we have many other projects to work on. As of now, some schools are slowly starting to try to open. We are not sure when we will be able to visit them but are praying that God will make a way.

Please continue to hold Haiti in your prayers. There is still much to be done. People are suffering so very much. There are so many stories that I could share but will keep them for another time. God can still do a great work here in Haiti. For my kreyol speakers, Bondye se yon bon Dye. In talking with one of our mechanics today I was reminded that even though it feels as though so many have nothing (and physically, they do not), they still have the most important thing. There are many unreached people groups all over the world but Haitians have the pleasure of saying that they have heard the Good News of the Gospel. Pray that we will remember the hope we have in Jesus. Pray that He will help us to get through all that is going on. We need God to be the ruler over this beautiful country that He so lovingly created. Priye pou Ayiti.

I loved madlibs as a kid. Okay, okay….I still love madlibs. They’re so fun! I always enjoyed using them while teaching as well. Parts of speech can be boring but not when paired with a silly story. I always enjoyed the different stories we could come up with. Sometimes I would give it a few weeks and then reuse the same story just to see how much it could change. Things that don’t make sense seem to fit right into my sense of humor.

But sometimes, I feel like life can be a madlib. Like God has one open and is just throwing random words in. I don’t love that feeling. Of course, we know this isn’t true….God knows the story and has known the story. He knew all that would and will happen long before we were here to complain about it. But it doesn’t stop us from feeling that way sometimes. Or maybe you are better than me…it doesn’t stop me from feeling that way. Sometimes I just wonder, why God? Or I question why He wouldn’t substitute one thing for another the same way that changing one word in a madlib can change the whole story.

Haiti is crazy right now. It feels like a madlib every day. I can’t even decipher what is real and what isn’t. Protests are everywhere. There is no gas, or if you find it no one can afford it. The main water company has had to stop production. School still hasn’t started. Cholera has made an appearance. The exchange rate is insane. Phone companies are so inconsistent you can hardly keep up with people. We still have no president. Places are being looted. The government speaking only seems to make people angrier. I am sure there is so much more that is happening that I don’t know about. I know that while I have had to experience some changes in my life during this time period that I cannot even begin to imagine what it is like for my Haitian brothers and sisters. I have this constant guilt because I can leave. I don’t want to, I want nothing more than to stay here, at home, in Haiti. But I know that if things were to get to that point, I can leave. So many of my friends and family here cannot. And that guilt eats away at me everyday.

Most know that I don’t typically like to speak about what is going on. I want to highlight the beauty of this country I love so much. It sounds crazy that I long to be here. I get more scared at the thought of going to the US than I do about anything happening here. I know it doesn’t make sense. But this is what God has done in my heart and I can’t deny it. Maybe one day I will go further into details. But for now, this is it..

Pray for Haiti.

• What are interactions with the government like? I have not really had any interactions with the government other than getting immigration settled. We do not have to hide what we are doing from the government like many missionaries do.
• How are schools different than they are in the states? Your classroom and supplies are surely different but a daily schedule would be about the same. Students are with their grade level in class learning.
• Why did you choose to stop teaching? If you know me well, you probably never would’ve guessed that I would stop teaching….I didn’t think so either! I felt that God was leading me in a different direction and followed, simple as that.
• What do I need the most? Right now, what I need is your prayers and encouragement. Everything else will come, and if I need it I will ask..
• I can’t commit financially, how can I help? Don’t forget how important prayers and encouragment are! We know that God hears our prayers.
• What is MEBSH? MEBSH or Mission Evangelical Baptists of Southern Haiti is the church association that we work with. They have many churches throughout southern Haiti. There are several organizations under them who do missionary work with them for the Haitian people.
• Do you work with the construction department? People from Madison County have been going to Haiti on teams with the CD for a very long time, myself included. While I live closely with them and do life with them, I do not work with them directly. They are with a separate organization, HarvestCall, and have their own mission. I am thankful for the introduction to Haiti that they gave me to Haiti.
• Do the kids in the HFKz program get housing? No, this sponsorship is for school. The kids live in communities all over Southern Haiti with their families.
• How often are you in Haiti? I live in Haiti full time and visit the states for furlough, typically 2 months out of the year.
• Can we send money or supplies even if we are not a sister church? Yes, there is always a need. We would love to have you partner with a church but if that is not possible we appreciate the want to help how you can.

August. The first month of being back home. It has been a little crazy and a lot wonderful.

It is always so good to get to see my people again. When I got home, Sabina and Noilita were at the house waiting on me and Rameau came shortly after. I was so thankful to see them and catch up. Going to the office on Monday and seeing all of the wonderful RMI Haiti staff just filled my heart. I love these people so much and miss doing daily life with them while I am away.

This month has been full of me working on moving. While there are still some things that need to be done, we have officially moved. I was so thankful to spend the night in the new house on the 15th. I am thankful to have people who have been so willing to help with this transition. So many people have put in a lot of work. Check out the photos of the house.

We had our first sleepover with Kam for the year. This little sweetheart has been spending the night with me forever. I am so thankful for her! She has grown up so much but I am glad that we still have a special relationship. She and Oti played and played. This sweet baby had her breakfast sat in front of her and with no prompting at all, instantly stopped to pray. Parents, these are the important things. She knows to thank the Lord for everything around her.

Every morning at RMI we have devotions together. There is a schedule for leading singing and sharing the devotion. Typically someone translates as well. For a while now, I have been helping with leading singing (in Kreyol). My name was on to share a devotion this month. As I was thinking, I realized I am currently the only foreign missionary here and the pressure set in. I felt the need to try and share my devotion in Kreyol with no translator. All the glory to God, I did it and no one corrected me! (Of course that doesn’t mean it was all perfect, but still!!)

On the 24th, I celebrated my “haitiversary” after moving here 4 years ago, Oti celebrated his 3 year haitiversary on Monday. I was thankful to have two wonderful families come over to the new house and hang out to celebrate. These families have played such a big part in my Haiti life it only felt fitting to have them here.

Please continue to pray for Haiti and the Haitian people as the country is currently suffering very difficult times. I do not want to go into major detail but God knows. Remember that you cannot always believe what you read in the news. And know that I am safe and feel secure currently. Please pray for Rameau and Noilita, they are our family and Oti and I love them so very much.

I went stateside again which means I have more questions coming my way.. so the FAQ is back!

• How long will it take to rebuild everything that was destroyed after the 2021 earthquake? I am not sure exactly but my guess would be a very long time. People are still living without from the earthquake back in 2010.
• Where do I live? I live on a missions compound with several other missionaries from multiple organizations. I am actually moving from one house to another on that compound right now.
• Am I afraid? No, I’m not.
• Have I ever had any experiences related to human traffikking? I have not but that does not mean it is not happening, I am just not seeing it.
• Do you help kids come to the states? No, our mission is to help children go to school in Haiti. Getting anyone outside of the US into the country is a very difficult process that takes a lot of time.
• Is it just one community that we work with? We work with many different communities throughout southern Haiti.
• Is it helpful to send school supplies down for children? I always encourage things being purchased in country as that helps with the Haitian economy. If you want to donate a specific item I would suggest asking if it can be purchased in country and sending the funds instead. You also save money on shipping this way.
• Do you run into many restevaks? The term restevak has turned into something far worse than what it once was. When we hear the term we instantly think of child slaves who are often abused. But this is not always the case. At this point, most of my Haitian friends prefer to not even use the word restevak because of this. There are still many children who live with others because their family cannot afford to care for them. While some children may be living in terrible situations that does not speak for all of them. I personally know many that are well taken care of. There are many organizations that assist with this problem but it is not one of our main missions. We may touch some of these children but I do not know exactly how many as most would not admit their situation.
• Who comes to help after a natural disaster? Many organizations come to help after a natural disaster. You suddenly see a great enflux of foreigners who are doing a lot of work. Very quickly, however, a natural disaster will hit somewhere else and they will leave…leaving behind the rest of the work to those who are there full time.
• Is it worth it? Yes.
• Do you have a doctor? I do not personally go to the doctor very often but there are plenty of doctors available to me if I were to need one.

July has been the 2nd of two months spent in the US. As you’re reading this, I should be back home..or at least on my way. I am looking forward to getting back with my Haitian family, seeing Otis, and getting busy. Hope for Kidz will start our “busy season” very soon and I still have a house to get moved into before then. Being in Haiti for me is being back to normal, every day life.

At the end of June-beginning of July, my dear friend came down to visit for a few days. It was so wonderful to see her after a year and a half. That is one of the hardest parts of missionary life… you don’t see the people you grew up with for almost a year at a time and then people who you do daily life with may leave the mission field and then it feels like forever before you see them again. We spent one night in St. Augustine and explored some. Lots of fun, history, and great food!

The rest of this month was spent visiting with more family and friends, trying to see everyone but just not quite possible. I have enjoyed the time I have gotten to spend with those that I have seen. I continued speaking at churches, this month I visited: Concord, Lee UMC, Hickory Grove, Sirmans, and Clyattville. Thank you to all of the churches that I was able to visit this year and all the ones that I just didn’t have time to visit!

For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. 2 Peter 1:5-7, ESV  

Are we treating one another in love or in hate? That may seem harsh, even overdramatic, but really think about it. If we are not treating someone with love, what are w etreating them with? Big words in our society nowadays are “cancel culture” and “hate crimes”. Are we as Christians guilty of the same? I’ve heard many say “don’t hate the sinner, hate the sin” but do we truly only hate the sin? And do we hate our own sin and the sin of our loved ones as much as we do the sin of strangers or people we don’t have relationships with? Are we showing genuine love?

“If we are not cultivating strong, loving relationships with other believers, if we are not exhibiting genuine love for those outside the faith, then we are spiritually deficient, no matter how diligently we are trying to live for God. Growing in Christ means growing closer and deeper with His people. Growing in Christ means growing more loving.”

Nancy Leigh DeMoss, The Quiet Place

According to the quote above, if we don’t have loving relationships and show genuine love, we are spiritually deficient. Ouch! It does not matter how much we go to church, read our Bibles, say the right thing, wear the right clothes, do what we think is best, etc if we are not showing love.

Let’s stop making Christianity an exclusive club. Let’s stop gatekeeping. (Yeah, there is a popular word right now, too…it literally means controlling or limiting access.) Are we sharing our faith? And if we are, are we doing it with love or hateful judgment? Are we loving on people regardless of what they say, wear, or do? Regardless of how many tattoos or piercings they have? Regardless of their political affiliation? Regardless of their sins that happen to be different (or the same) as ours? Are we considering the fact that we are filthy, dirty sinners too? Are we remembering that God didn’t keep His love from us because of who we are? Are we considering that we can (and must) still choose to love someone even if they do not choose to put their faith in Christ? How can we choose to love God’s creation even if they do not choose to love Him? I don’t know all of the answers…but I know that we are called to love and love all.

Are we sharing our faith with other believers? Sure, it is easy to share and show love to those we are close with. Do we show love to Christians we have issues with? Did you know you can have issues with other Christians? Shocking, I know, that sinners would have issues with sinners. In case you were confused, yes, even Christians are still sinners. We should strive to be Christlike and not sin but we still do it. So, do we show love to those who we don’t agree with on the things that are not necessarily important? Do we show love to new believers by sharing with them? How many new believers have questions and how many of us answer them openly and honestly? Do we show love and build relationships with trust?

Maybe I have too many questions. That is probably true. While I don’t know all of the answers, I know the One who does. I am thankful that the Word is alive and can continue to touch us and cause us to grow and question the way that we do things. I am thankful that God gifts people like Nancy Leigh DeMoss who wrote the devotional that got me thinking about the way that I do things.

Are you living with love?

June was the first of two months of furlough. During these months, I visit the states to see family and friends, and visit with churches. As I sit here to write what went on it feels like a whirlwind…so much happened but I almost can’t remember it all. I have been thankful to see the family and friends that I have had time with so far and looking foward to catching up with others in July.

It was wonderful to catch up with family during the first weekend I was back and after all that our family has been through this year. My youngest sister, Olivia, graduated this year and I was able to go to a graduation party for her. Then I hit the ground running with visiting churches and supporters. This month I have been to: Fellowship, Pinetta 1st, Windsor Baptist (Gainesville, and got to see some Antioch folks while there), Cherry Lake Baptist, Creekside (Gainesville), and 1st of St Pete. It’s been fun catching up with my local churches and some RMI churches. Any time that I can chat about Haiti is a good time! Inbetween these visits I got to spend some time with sweet friends as well. Mama and I also made a weekend trip out of my visit to St Pete. It was nice to getaway in such a beautiful place.

My dear friend, Natalie, came down to visit towards the end of the month. We served in Haiti together for a few years before she moved back to the US. I loved getting to spend time with her and show her the middle of nowhere.

Please continue to pray for me as I am on furlough. It is wonderful to see everyone but hard to be away from home. I often feel out of place in the US anymore and furlough can be a difficult time. Please pray that peoples hearts will be touched through the words that God gives me.

I was asked a few weeks ago what is the hardest part of being in the states instead of being in Haiti. My answer is simple. It’s everything.

Everything is hard because everything is different. And you miss your people and your home so much that sometimes you can’t sleep. You have to be careful or else you will fall into a constant whirl of sadness that you aren’t where you feel you are supposed to be. You miss the little things like watching the sunset over the palm trees, hearing the dog bark and your friends barking back at him, and the taste of fritay. You miss the morning devotions with your coworkers who are more like family and the pouring into one another that you do. You miss the relationships, the ones that come easy and the ones that you have to work at. You miss going to the grocery store and getting aggravated because you misunderstood something. You miss your life, your place.

What I have found and am slowly starting to incorporate into my life is remembering the call. Yes, I am called to Haiti to live and to serve. That is where I feel at home because that is where God has me during this time in my life. However, God also has me in the states for furlough, otherwise I wouldn’t be here. If I feel so comfortable in the call to Haiti, why do I not with the call to the states? I have to start looking at both as the call that God has placed on where He wants me to be at any given time. That doesn’t mean there won’t be difficulties. Transition is a very difficult part of missionary life. I didn’t instantly feel at home when I first moved to Haiti…at one point everything was hard there. So I may not instantly feel “normal” being back in the US for furlough, but I can strive to feel at peace where God has me.

So, while the hardest part of being away is still everything, in order to help myself find peace in the states I look for the things that I miss about here. I miss seeing my family and close friends. I miss the convience of fast food. I miss driving wherever whenever. I miss the relationships that I have here. So I try to hone into that.

If all else fails, we can remember the promise in Philippians 3:20.

But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ.

ESV

May started off with a bang! We still had the team here visiting their sister church. They came in at the tail-end of April. It was good to spend some time with them and get to know them better. May 1st is a big agricultural day in Haiti. A friend’s mission holds a fair each year and we went to that. It was fun to see all the things for sale, kids running around, and eat good food.

Towards the end of April, my grandpa was hospitalized. After some testing, they learned that he had lung cancer. In the beginning, we were given hope of treatments and a few more years with him. After talking to my family, we felt there was no need for me to rush back to the states. My upcoming furlough was already planned and I would be back in plenty of time. He was sent home after his first round of treatments and was to return after three weeks for another round. He continued to have issues and was taken back to the hospital. Among other concerns, they realized that the tumor was pushing against his heart and causing it to not work correctly. He called in his children and announced that he wouldn’t be continuing with treatments. Preparations started being made for him to go home on hospice. Thankfully, during this time he chose to commit to Jesus and said to his family multiple times that he knew Where he was going. I was informed that it wasn’t even likely he would make it through the next few days…I wouldn’t have been able to close up my home for 2 months to return in time. He would already be gone. I stayed in close contact with family as we reminisced about the many good times. On the morning of May 10th, 2022 Pop went home to be with the Lord. While I will miss him so much, I am thankful for the grandfather he was to me and the many wonderful memories I have with him. On Saturday, the 14th a sweet friend (Tina, the angel that she is) came over to watch the funeral with me. I was so thankful to not have to do that alone. It felt fitting to honor Pop by watching his funeral with a basset by my side. That night, we had a steak dinner thanks to a cooler Mama had sent a while back. I am not sure that the friends I had dinner with are aware but steak would’ve been Pop’s go-to. Any time he was left to figure out a dinner on his own he would go outside and grill a steak. It was another good way to honor him.

Getting ready to leave home is hard. You are packing for several months with a limited amount of weight and space. You are closing up your house for several months. You want to spend time with everyone you can before you leave. And it’s almost guaranteed that things will go wrong. I am thankful to miss Haiti so much while I am in the states. I am so thankful for the people God put in my life here that makes it so hard to leave. I am thankful for the last week I got to spend with my people. Everyone’s furlough happens at different times so while I may be stateside for 2 months there are some I won’t see for many more months.

It was good to get in a few more trips out to schools before leaving for the states. Being with the kids just makes me feel at peace. Things may be crazy, but I know that these children are what God has called me for. And along with your help, we can give these kids hope for education but more importantly share the hope of the Lord with them.

Every once in a while Lee plans a kids’ night for our Wednesday night missionary service. I am always thankful that he asks me to tag along. It is a great reminder that we are supposed to have childlike faith. And nothing brings my spirits back up than watching little ones sing their hearts out for Jesus.

As you are reading this, I am traveling back to the states. I will be there for the months of June and July before coming back home. I have somewhat of a schedule but have some things in the works still. I would love to see you if it’s possible. Let me know!