everything

I was asked a few weeks ago what is the hardest part of being in the states instead of being in Haiti. My answer is simple. It’s everything.

Everything is hard because everything is different. And you miss your people and your home so much that sometimes you can’t sleep. You have to be careful or else you will fall into a constant whirl of sadness that you aren’t where you feel you are supposed to be. You miss the little things like watching the sunset over the palm trees, hearing the dog bark and your friends barking back at him, and the taste of fritay. You miss the morning devotions with your coworkers who are more like family and the pouring into one another that you do. You miss the relationships, the ones that come easy and the ones that you have to work at. You miss going to the grocery store and getting aggravated because you misunderstood something. You miss your life, your place.

What I have found and am slowly starting to incorporate into my life is remembering the call. Yes, I am called to Haiti to live and to serve. That is where I feel at home because that is where God has me during this time in my life. However, God also has me in the states for furlough, otherwise I wouldn’t be here. If I feel so comfortable in the call to Haiti, why do I not with the call to the states? I have to start looking at both as the call that God has placed on where He wants me to be at any given time. That doesn’t mean there won’t be difficulties. Transition is a very difficult part of missionary life. I didn’t instantly feel at home when I first moved to Haiti…at one point everything was hard there. So I may not instantly feel “normal” being back in the US for furlough, but I can strive to feel at peace where God has me.

So, while the hardest part of being away is still everything, in order to help myself find peace in the states I look for the things that I miss about here. I miss seeing my family and close friends. I miss the convience of fast food. I miss driving wherever whenever. I miss the relationships that I have here. So I try to hone into that.

If all else fails, we can remember the promise in Philippians 3:20.

But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ.

ESV