If you’ve been in church long enough you have certainly heard the phrase “share the gospel”. In fact, if you’ve been in church much at all you have probably heard it more times than you can even begin to count. It’s a common phrase in Christian circles. Many relate it back to the Great Commission at the end of Matthew 28. Your pastor says it so much he doesn’t even realize it.

And I don’t agree with it. *que the audible gasps*

Tessa, WHAT?!?!?!?! How DARE you say you don’t agree with the phrase “share the gospel”.

I know, I am a terrible person. Go ahead and do away with me. Or…. stay with me for a minute. I don’t agree with it because I think a better phrase would be “SHOW the gosepl”.

We’ve all seen it happen, someone talks bad about a certain person or people group or treats someone poorly. They go on and on about how awful they are. Or they just aren’t welcoming to them. And then, inevitably, they go to that same person or people group to tell them that “Jesus loves you!” And this is why I don’t want to share the gospel. What good does that do? If the people or person you have spoken poorly of or treated badly knows that you’ve done these things, what good are your words to them? And even if they haven’t, others have witnessed or heard these things and your words suddenly mean nothing to them either, even if they are already Christian.

A lot of non christians will tell you that they don’t want to get involved in Christianity because “it’s just a bunch of hypocrites”. They feel that Christians want to tell you about Jesus but do not act like Him. And they’re right. They’re SO right. And it’s our fault. We have to be clear that we will NEVER be able to fully act like Jesus because we aren’t Him. I will always be sinful. I will forever have harsh words or actions towards others. No matter how hard I try, it will always be there. But, and there is always a but, I can do my best to love. To strive to live like Him. That’s where it is, that’s where we show the gospel. We strive to live like Jesus and show His love. And we have to admit that we fail at times.

Let’s look in Matthew 7:15-20. ¹⁵ “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. ¹⁶ You will recognize them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? ¹⁷ So, every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit. ¹⁸ A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit. ¹⁹ Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. ²⁰ Thus you will recognize them by their fruits.”

False prophets. Not athesits, not murderers, or gang leaders, or people that have never been to church. Prophets. Think people inside the church. Think pastors, leaders, etc. People who hold the Bible in their hands. People who KNOW the Word. See, just because people know that Truth, and are speaking it, that does not mean that they are in the Truth. Even Satan, in Matthew 4, quotes scripture. Jesus warns us not to pay attention to the words coming out of their mouth, but to their fruits. Not to pay attention to what they are sharing, but to what they are showing. It’s the big difference between head knowledge and heart knowledge. We have to look out for it not only in others, but also in ourselves.

As Christians, we have to be aware of what we are showing others. Are we showing them that God is the ruler of our hearts? Or are we showing them that we simply know how to spout out words that we have read? What are our fruits saying? Jesus says in John 13:35 that people will know we are His by our love. Our love. Love that we both speak and show.

I am not against sharing the gospel. It is so very important. But let us not forget that it is also important to show it. It is important for people to see us acting out what we are saying. It is important for our fruits to show that our tree is planted in the Lord.

Are you showing the gospel? Do people know that you are God’s without you having to say it?

January. Okay, so maybe December 31st. We had a wonderful, small New Years Eve dinner together. Everyone put something on the grill and shared sides together. We learned about traditional communal tea from Uruguay as well as had some wonderful Cuban espresso. I actually managed to stay up until midnight. A friend and I sat on the roof to watch the fireworks. You could see them happening all over the country.

There were a few more schools to visit this month. Due to schools starting late this year we are a little behind schedule but have worked very hard to stay up to date. It was a chilly few weeks. I stayed in a jacket as did most others I came in contact with. Otis enjoyed laying under his blanket or snuggling up. New life is always just around the corner. It’s something that God promises to give us if we will accept it and something we see in nature often. This little goat had been born just the day before.

A weekend spent at Zanglais with a team. Zanglais is one of my favorite places. It is beautiful and peaceful. I always try to wake up early enough to have time to walk on the beach before the day gets started. These are wonderful chats with God and sometimes little crab friends.

We had a team here this month and what a blessing that was! I was thankful to have Ashley spend the day with me while they were here. We visited a local school as well as the hospital and dental clinic. I had never seen dentures being made before. While at the school, one teacher asked if I would teach her class. It’s been a while since I have done anything with volume and capacity but we figured it out. You can also see young students learning to write their numbers, on this day they were working on the number 3. Ashley and I explored CLC campus as I gave a little background on all of the missionaries here. It takes so many people from different backgrounds, denominations, missions, and walks of life to work together for the Lord. She also was encouraged by Rameau to drink some ginger and cinnamon tea. It was a wonderful day spent with a sweet and Godly young lady. We will all continue to pray for her as she follows where the Lord leads her.

This month has felt both long and short depending on how I look at it. It has been a good start to 2023. We are continuing to pray that HFKz will be able to travel and RMI will be able to receive teams. Beautiful Haiti continues to struggle in a number of ways. Please keep this country and the Haitian people in your prayers. It often feels as though the suffering comes from all sides. Thank you for also remembering me in prayer.

The life that counts blessings discovers its yielding more than it seems. 

Ann Voskamp

December has been full of blessings. Some so little that no one would notice and some so large that they are impossible to ignore. For me, they have all added up as one big reminder of how wonderful our God is. After several months of being on lock down, it was so good to have a “normal” month.

We continued our travels to schools. These days start early and end late. Sometimes we are traveling for hours on end. Sometimes things don’t go right when we get out there. But every single time, we are blessed. Benjamin and Benson had the opportunity to share RMIs testimony during MEBSH assembly. Another reminder of how our God loves and protects us.

If you know me well, you know that there isn’t much that makes me happier than littles. Oh how I long to be more like children. Kids are so resilient and forgiving. They all just want to be shown love. Kids live in a world full of hope even if their world is in shambles. These littles lift up my spirit. I also quite enjoy eating fritay early in the morning.

We weren’t the only ones blessed by being able to travel again. So many of these children and their families depend on these sponsorships. When they don’t see us, they don’t know if they are sponsored or not. Arriving and giving them the good news allows them to finally take a breath. Children once again get to receive gifts from sponsors which always encourage them. Pastors, schools directors, teachers, and parents are all affected by the childrens sponsorships as well. $32 a month carries blessings to more people than you can count. Another remind of blessings bestowed on us was given this month when I attended a service of thanksgiving to the Lord and heard a sweet friend give her testimony.

We were invited to a childrens choir concert at a local church. Such a wonderful time giving praise to the Lord. These kids and young adults put so much work into this concert and it really showed. Another remind to be like the children came from this young man (around 11 years old) who shared from Matthew and inspired the congregation.

This month alone we have visited over 30 schools. Taken thousands of pictures to choose from and edit. Helped hundreds of students write their letters to translate and send. Entered a number of new students into the program. Held parents meetings. Traveled many, many miles. We have been blessed with God’s protection through it all. Of course, not every day goes as we planned, but every day goes as He has planned. Sometimes kids don’t come to school, pastors forget to have parents there, we forget things at the office, the tire goes flat, the lighting is off, etc. And whatever it is, we have to remember to be patient and glorify the Lord. We make sure that one way or another, the job gets done…even with hangups.

I am personally blessed with family and friends who love me and encourage me. I am blessed with coworkers who love me, the Lord, and these kids. There is not a single person on the Hope for Kidz team that doesn’t absolutely adore these kids and long for them all to have an education and a bigger hope.

Robenson has been a blessing over this last year and a half or so. Being able to sponsor him has given me much more than I believe it gives him. He is the sweetest little guy, although not so sure about photos. I love getting to see him. This month I was able to enjoy a beach day for the first time in months with some of my favorite people. This specific beach means so much to me. It was a wonderful day spent with those I love.

During the days surronding Christmas I got to spend some more time with Oti. I love traveling so much but I am not home a lot during those days. He was pretty happy to have me around again. I was able to chat with Mama and Gigi one day. We had a beautiful Christmas service on the 23rd complete with candelight Silent Night, a tradition around here. Rameau is always around and is a constant blessing to me in more ways than I can explain. God’s beauty and love is all around us, we just have to open our eyes.

Ah, November is over. Crazy to think about! In some ways this month felt so long but in most ways it has flown by. It has certainly been a busy month full of blessings. We finally got to go back to work this month! And the work was certainly waiting on us. At the beginning of this month I had a new gate put in at my house. The one that was there when I moved in was broken and had been for a while. The guys made a new one for me that should last a long time. It is another thing to check off the moving in list. There is still much to do! Next on the list is putting in the chainlink fence. It has been fun to decorate the house as well, check out the doormat a friend gifted me..Oti seems to like it.

Then it was my birthday. I have now celebrated 5 birthdays in Haiti. I moved here at 21 and celebrated turning 22 a few months later. At that time, I was only staying here for 9 months. This year I turned 26 and am so thankful that God has allowed me to stick around longer. It was wonderful celebrating with yummy cheesecake and sweet friends.

Later that same week was Thanksgiving. This year has certainly been different around here and Thanksgiving was no exception. We typically have a large group for Thanksgiving every year. This year we kept it simple and had a small group. I hosted for the first time and enjoyed it. I made cinnamon rolls for breakfast and helped cook lunch along with some other ladies. We all gathered together and spent some wonderful time in fellowship. Of course, we had to watch the soccer match that was going on, too.

The 28th finally brought my favorite time of the year! We are back on the road again visiting schools. We are typically almost done if not finished by this time of year. Because of many different reasons, it hasn’t happened yet this year. It it such a blessing to be out again. Nothing fills my heart quite like sweet babies in school uniforms. Interacting with these kids is one of lifes greatest joys. I also so love the time spent on the road with the HFKz family. It has been a hard year for these kids and it is a pleasure to watch God’s love pour out from this group of people onto them. You never know what you are going to get on the road but it is always exactly what God wants you to get. December will be very, very busy as we work hard to catch up with this work.

In my own family, things have been happening as well. Rameau continues to work hard to make my yard look nice. I remember telling him I was moving and he was already so excited and full of ideas. Of course, you can come up with ideas a lot faster than you can actually do the work. He has a lot to still do but I am so thankful for him. He is one of my bestfriends. He was pretty happy when Mama sent him a new hat. Noilita always brightens my day with her sweet smile. Mama sent her a new fan which made her day. Hers had just broken! She is loving the new house. Otis loves that he gets to spend all kinds of time underneath her feet begging for food. Sabina has been our neighbor since we moved in while she was housesitting for another missionary. We already had such a good relationship with Otis’ so called godmother but we have all grown even closer these last few months. She fits right in with our family. I am not quite sure what Otis is going to do when she is no longer right next door. He loves to play with her and will sniff at the door that connects the houses if she is near it, scratching if he hears her. I will miss having her as my neighbor as well. As we get busier we both know that we will not have as much time together so we are soaking it all up. Oti is as silly as ever just being a little snuggle bug. The transition of me being back at work has not been his favorite thing but as long as he gets to see his people and eat special treats he is okay with it.

November has been full of blessing, as I mentioned earlier. Thank you for your prayers during this time. Please continue to pray for Haiti, this country is not out of the woods yet. Please pray for my Haitian family as they live through these many different changes. Pray for our kids as they finally get to go to school, the things they have experienced in their lives are more than they can imagine. Pray for traveling safetys as we will be on the road constantly. I am so thankful for the many ways that God provides and protects. What a mighty God we serve!

Typically, I try to do an update each month. These last few months have been different. It certainly is not that I didn’t have time to update, but rather that I didn’t know how. This fall has been a very difficult time for the country of Haiti. Many Haitians are still suffering and are in seriously uncertain times. I don’t know how to explain it all and won’t attempt to. I often feel guilty because I do not suffer in the way that so many of my Haitian family and friends do. I cannot begin to explain things because I can’t begin to understand them all. I have seen a difference in my life but it is nothing compared to what the average Haitian is experiencing.

In August, things started getting a little dicey one could say. I don’t recall all the dates but know that we were back and forth between open and closed. Things started to get a little interesting in September. On the 7th, we closed due to some things happening in the country. We returned on the 12th but quickly had to close again on the 14th. We did not officially open back up again until November 7th. There were some days between those two dates where people were working but very cautiously. During these days, I was at home. Every once in a while, when we were told it was safe, we would quickly go to the grocery store and return. We used extreme precaution (and continue to do so). As of now, there is no real resolution to the many issues Haiti is facing. However, things seem to have calmed down (for now, and prayerfully for a good amount of time).

During these months at home, I did what I could to stay busy. I spent much of my time in prayer, contacting my Haitian friends and family when possible, and crying out for them. September held many girls days. Kambria had us all glammed up, painting our nails and having us watch My Little Pony (or anything with unicorns). Sabina did hair several times. We laughed at silly dogs and enjoyed time together. I have come to greatly appreciate these days. While I missed working so much, it was nice to spend time with the missionaries that I do not always have time to spend with. To bond with each other on a deeper level.

October was another month of being home. At this point, you would think we would be well rested. It’s amazing how exhausting sitting around can be! We managed to have some good times. A sweet missionary friend is in her passport country with her husband here in Haiti. Due to lack of internet and cell service, they hadn’t spoken to each other in weeks. We stuck our phones together to make it happen. I was glad to meet the sweet baby boy of a friend in October. We spent many days picking avocados and doing whatever else we could find to do. Sabina taught Lydianne and I how to make a good Haitian meal and in return I taught her how to make fried rice and later we made ice cream as well. I have so enjoyed getting to spend this time with Sabina. I have known her and considered her a friend for years. If you remember, she is the one who stays at my house with Oti while I am away. It’s been such a pleasure to get to know her better. We have shared a lot about our upbringings. It is crazy how many things about our childhoods were the same even with living in such different countries. I cherish this time and this relationship.

November came in with a bang. Agape had slowly started coming while carefully watching how things would be here in Haiti. I still had so much stuff for the new house there. I was able to receive things this month! You can see Sabina on the new couch with Otis trying to get in there. All of my fencing came in and I am excited for this project to start. There are still several things that need to be done at the house but when they are all done, I will be sharing more photos. I enjoyed rooftop sunset ice cream with dear friends and caught a photo of the cutest. On November 7th, we were back to the office! It was such a blessing to return and see everyone. To get to spend time in devotions worshipping together. Our suntech team was already hard at work on the 7th and we have many other projects to work on. As of now, some schools are slowly starting to try to open. We are not sure when we will be able to visit them but are praying that God will make a way.

Please continue to hold Haiti in your prayers. There is still much to be done. People are suffering so very much. There are so many stories that I could share but will keep them for another time. God can still do a great work here in Haiti. For my kreyol speakers, Bondye se yon bon Dye. In talking with one of our mechanics today I was reminded that even though it feels as though so many have nothing (and physically, they do not), they still have the most important thing. There are many unreached people groups all over the world but Haitians have the pleasure of saying that they have heard the Good News of the Gospel. Pray that we will remember the hope we have in Jesus. Pray that He will help us to get through all that is going on. We need God to be the ruler over this beautiful country that He so lovingly created. Priye pou Ayiti.

I loved madlibs as a kid. Okay, okay….I still love madlibs. They’re so fun! I always enjoyed using them while teaching as well. Parts of speech can be boring but not when paired with a silly story. I always enjoyed the different stories we could come up with. Sometimes I would give it a few weeks and then reuse the same story just to see how much it could change. Things that don’t make sense seem to fit right into my sense of humor.

But sometimes, I feel like life can be a madlib. Like God has one open and is just throwing random words in. I don’t love that feeling. Of course, we know this isn’t true….God knows the story and has known the story. He knew all that would and will happen long before we were here to complain about it. But it doesn’t stop us from feeling that way sometimes. Or maybe you are better than me…it doesn’t stop me from feeling that way. Sometimes I just wonder, why God? Or I question why He wouldn’t substitute one thing for another the same way that changing one word in a madlib can change the whole story.

Haiti is crazy right now. It feels like a madlib every day. I can’t even decipher what is real and what isn’t. Protests are everywhere. There is no gas, or if you find it no one can afford it. The main water company has had to stop production. School still hasn’t started. Cholera has made an appearance. The exchange rate is insane. Phone companies are so inconsistent you can hardly keep up with people. We still have no president. Places are being looted. The government speaking only seems to make people angrier. I am sure there is so much more that is happening that I don’t know about. I know that while I have had to experience some changes in my life during this time period that I cannot even begin to imagine what it is like for my Haitian brothers and sisters. I have this constant guilt because I can leave. I don’t want to, I want nothing more than to stay here, at home, in Haiti. But I know that if things were to get to that point, I can leave. So many of my friends and family here cannot. And that guilt eats away at me everyday.

Most know that I don’t typically like to speak about what is going on. I want to highlight the beauty of this country I love so much. It sounds crazy that I long to be here. I get more scared at the thought of going to the US than I do about anything happening here. I know it doesn’t make sense. But this is what God has done in my heart and I can’t deny it. Maybe one day I will go further into details. But for now, this is it..

Pray for Haiti.

• What are interactions with the government like? I have not really had any interactions with the government other than getting immigration settled. We do not have to hide what we are doing from the government like many missionaries do.
• How are schools different than they are in the states? Your classroom and supplies are surely different but a daily schedule would be about the same. Students are with their grade level in class learning.
• Why did you choose to stop teaching? If you know me well, you probably never would’ve guessed that I would stop teaching….I didn’t think so either! I felt that God was leading me in a different direction and followed, simple as that.
• What do I need the most? Right now, what I need is your prayers and encouragement. Everything else will come, and if I need it I will ask..
• I can’t commit financially, how can I help? Don’t forget how important prayers and encouragment are! We know that God hears our prayers.
• What is MEBSH? MEBSH or Mission Evangelical Baptists of Southern Haiti is the church association that we work with. They have many churches throughout southern Haiti. There are several organizations under them who do missionary work with them for the Haitian people.
• Do you work with the construction department? People from Madison County have been going to Haiti on teams with the CD for a very long time, myself included. While I live closely with them and do life with them, I do not work with them directly. They are with a separate organization, HarvestCall, and have their own mission. I am thankful for the introduction to Haiti that they gave me to Haiti.
• Do the kids in the HFKz program get housing? No, this sponsorship is for school. The kids live in communities all over Southern Haiti with their families.
• How often are you in Haiti? I live in Haiti full time and visit the states for furlough, typically 2 months out of the year.
• Can we send money or supplies even if we are not a sister church? Yes, there is always a need. We would love to have you partner with a church but if that is not possible we appreciate the want to help how you can.

August. The first month of being back home. It has been a little crazy and a lot wonderful.

It is always so good to get to see my people again. When I got home, Sabina and Noilita were at the house waiting on me and Rameau came shortly after. I was so thankful to see them and catch up. Going to the office on Monday and seeing all of the wonderful RMI Haiti staff just filled my heart. I love these people so much and miss doing daily life with them while I am away.

This month has been full of me working on moving. While there are still some things that need to be done, we have officially moved. I was so thankful to spend the night in the new house on the 15th. I am thankful to have people who have been so willing to help with this transition. So many people have put in a lot of work. Check out the photos of the house.

We had our first sleepover with Kam for the year. This little sweetheart has been spending the night with me forever. I am so thankful for her! She has grown up so much but I am glad that we still have a special relationship. She and Oti played and played. This sweet baby had her breakfast sat in front of her and with no prompting at all, instantly stopped to pray. Parents, these are the important things. She knows to thank the Lord for everything around her.

Every morning at RMI we have devotions together. There is a schedule for leading singing and sharing the devotion. Typically someone translates as well. For a while now, I have been helping with leading singing (in Kreyol). My name was on to share a devotion this month. As I was thinking, I realized I am currently the only foreign missionary here and the pressure set in. I felt the need to try and share my devotion in Kreyol with no translator. All the glory to God, I did it and no one corrected me! (Of course that doesn’t mean it was all perfect, but still!!)

On the 24th, I celebrated my “haitiversary” after moving here 4 years ago, Oti celebrated his 3 year haitiversary on Monday. I was thankful to have two wonderful families come over to the new house and hang out to celebrate. These families have played such a big part in my Haiti life it only felt fitting to have them here.

Please continue to pray for Haiti and the Haitian people as the country is currently suffering very difficult times. I do not want to go into major detail but God knows. Remember that you cannot always believe what you read in the news. And know that I am safe and feel secure currently. Please pray for Rameau and Noilita, they are our family and Oti and I love them so very much.

I went stateside again which means I have more questions coming my way.. so the FAQ is back!

• How long will it take to rebuild everything that was destroyed after the 2021 earthquake? I am not sure exactly but my guess would be a very long time. People are still living without from the earthquake back in 2010.
• Where do I live? I live on a missions compound with several other missionaries from multiple organizations. I am actually moving from one house to another on that compound right now.
• Am I afraid? No, I’m not.
• Have I ever had any experiences related to human traffikking? I have not but that does not mean it is not happening, I am just not seeing it.
• Do you help kids come to the states? No, our mission is to help children go to school in Haiti. Getting anyone outside of the US into the country is a very difficult process that takes a lot of time.
• Is it just one community that we work with? We work with many different communities throughout southern Haiti.
• Is it helpful to send school supplies down for children? I always encourage things being purchased in country as that helps with the Haitian economy. If you want to donate a specific item I would suggest asking if it can be purchased in country and sending the funds instead. You also save money on shipping this way.
• Do you run into many restevaks? The term restevak has turned into something far worse than what it once was. When we hear the term we instantly think of child slaves who are often abused. But this is not always the case. At this point, most of my Haitian friends prefer to not even use the word restevak because of this. There are still many children who live with others because their family cannot afford to care for them. While some children may be living in terrible situations that does not speak for all of them. I personally know many that are well taken care of. There are many organizations that assist with this problem but it is not one of our main missions. We may touch some of these children but I do not know exactly how many as most would not admit their situation.
• Who comes to help after a natural disaster? Many organizations come to help after a natural disaster. You suddenly see a great enflux of foreigners who are doing a lot of work. Very quickly, however, a natural disaster will hit somewhere else and they will leave…leaving behind the rest of the work to those who are there full time.
• Is it worth it? Yes.
• Do you have a doctor? I do not personally go to the doctor very often but there are plenty of doctors available to me if I were to need one.

July has been the 2nd of two months spent in the US. As you’re reading this, I should be back home..or at least on my way. I am looking forward to getting back with my Haitian family, seeing Otis, and getting busy. Hope for Kidz will start our “busy season” very soon and I still have a house to get moved into before then. Being in Haiti for me is being back to normal, every day life.

At the end of June-beginning of July, my dear friend came down to visit for a few days. It was so wonderful to see her after a year and a half. That is one of the hardest parts of missionary life… you don’t see the people you grew up with for almost a year at a time and then people who you do daily life with may leave the mission field and then it feels like forever before you see them again. We spent one night in St. Augustine and explored some. Lots of fun, history, and great food!

The rest of this month was spent visiting with more family and friends, trying to see everyone but just not quite possible. I have enjoyed the time I have gotten to spend with those that I have seen. I continued speaking at churches, this month I visited: Concord, Lee UMC, Hickory Grove, Sirmans, and Clyattville. Thank you to all of the churches that I was able to visit this year and all the ones that I just didn’t have time to visit!