A lovely day at Pickett Lake camp with a wonderful friend.
Hello? Anyone there? It’s been another full month! July has kept me busy. We started the month by celebrating Independence Day in the US. I was thankful to be surrounded by good family and friends during this month. I did a lot of driving which gives me a lot of alone time to just think. I spent much of that thinking time reflecting on the amazing people that God has placed in my life. What a blessing!
This month also brought along some turmoil. At the beginning of this month Elsa came into play. She first hit my home in Haiti and later came to visit at Mama’s in north FL. Thankfully, I had no damage at either place. That same week, Haiti had a major event happen. I do not personally know the truth about what happened and don’t want to comment on it. All I will say is that I ask for you to pray for everyone involved in the incident.
The summer of church signs continues! I am so thankful to be able to visit with the wonderful folks at all of these churches. I love their hearts for missions and hearing the questions that they have for me.
Last month I wrote about some of the best parts of being a missionary. Of course, there are many more things to love about life as a missionary but no one really wants to read a post that long. This month I would like to get into some of the worst parts of this life. I would like to reiterate that this is from my personal experience. Everyone sees and feels things differently.
Learning
Learning is hard. This may sound silly. Of course, as someone passionate about education you would like I am all for learning. And I certainly am. I love to learn new things but it can also be the thing to break you. When you are in a different country and culture, you have a lot to learn. In life, you are never done learning and that is even more true in this scenario. They say that you have levels of culture. You can change your surface culture and others can learn about it. But then there is deep culture. That is the stuff about you that you don’t even realize is culture. It is almost impossible to change about yourself and hard for others to learn and understand. Culture is one of the hardest things to understand. I make cultural mistakes daily. It is exhausting and can be frustrating. Just when you think you have things figured out, you fail. Language falls in the same category. Of course, this is something you can learn and grow in. But learning a language is hard, y’all. I spent more nights praying and crying over kreyol than I can count. But it is so important for me to be able to understand and communicate with others. There’s a joke that goes something like this: “What do you call someone who speaks two languages? bilingual. What do you call someone who speaks three languages? trilingual. What do you call someone who speaks four or more languages? polyglot. So what do you call someone who only speaks one language? an American.” Now don’t let that offend you too much because it is the truth. As Americans, we don’t typically teach our children more than one language as they grow. Most other countries do. Maybe this is why it is so hard for us to learn a new language as adults, maybe not. That is an educational debate for another time. The point is, learning a language and culture is hard. These things will break you down and make you feel almost worthless.
Loneliness
This is the big one! Or at least it is for me. I am a social person, I like being around people and talking to others. I enjoy having different groups of people to go around. You know, you have your family, the people you work with, the people you go to church with, and maybe a few friends outside of this as well. Maybe you have even more people, I don’t know. And yes, I do love my missionary family and the people I work with. But I think they all can agree, it gets a little old only seeing each other all the time. There is no going out and meeting new people. There is no go to the movies or bowling or whatever you do. There is no new restaurant to try every week or so. You go to work with these people, you go to church with them, you do social events with them. I love living on my own (with Otis, of course). I like the freedom it gives me to kind of do what I want when I want. But that also breeds another form of loneliness. Eating dinner alone seems so small and insignificant but it always reminds you just how alone you are.
Part of this loneliness is another one of the worst parts of our lives. The disconnect that we feel from the people we knew in our home countries. People no longer have the time to involve us. We no longer know every little bit of that close friend’s life. We are no longer involved in what is going on in the community. And even with those that try, we still sometimes just feel disconnected from that life. I think we should a little. It may sound harsh but we don’t live there anymore. Yes, let’s do our best to try and keep up those relationships. But let us also understand that we have to live our lives where we are present, not trying to be a part of everything an ocean away. There is a balance to this, I am sure. I wouldn’t say I have found it yet but maybe I will one day. This all comes as part of your transition. (If you know someone going through transition, check out this article to better understand them: https://www.thecultureblend.com/why-transition-is-like-puberty/) There comes a point when you realize that visiting the states on furlough is just that, it’s visiting. When we move to another place to serve, we change and we don’t fit right back into where we were. That is a hard and lonely spot to be before you realize that it is okay, you have a new home.
The last hard part of loneliness that I feel important to talk about is people leave. Missionaries leave. Not all missionaries live in the same place until they die. So they leave. People from the place you serve also leave. Of course, this happens everywhere. People get new jobs or other things come up and they leave, they move away. It’s hard to deal with, y’all. When a missionary leaves the field, a lot of thought and prayer goes into it. It doesn’t happen overnight. And while you know coming in that people don’t stay forever, it still breaks you to your core sometimes. I believe that because we lead such a different life from others, we band together even more. So when one of your closest friends, your family, leaves…it is an indescribable feeling. The aftermath can leave you feeling lonely.
Tarantulas
One of the worst parts of life for me is tarantulas. That’s it, I just don’t like tarantulas. I don’t even like to go outside after dark because of them.
June…it has felt like the month that flew by while feeling like the month that drug on.
June brought out my obsession with pretty flowers. As always, Rameau knocked it out of the park! I am so blessed to have someone who can seemingly grow anything in my yard. I will be excited to see what surprise he has for me when I return home. He always does something nice in the yard for me while I am away.
June highlights included a lot of extra time with Oti. It was fun to see even more how Rameau and Noilita interact with him. And I sure didn’t mind the snuggles! We had delicious lettuce from the garden and Noilita made way too much pikliz for me to bring to Mama. I enjoyed getting to spend time with some of my fellow missionaries, time that I don’t always have the time to spend. Hope for Kidz wasn’t on the road much this month but trust that we were working! Hard parts of June include getting ready to leave home for almost two months and all that comes along with that. Don’t get me wrong, I am looking forward to some time stateside but I will sure miss home. Saying goodbye isn’t easy on either front.
On June 22nd I flew out with a few other missionaries. We were blessed to fly with Agape flights.
While I really miss Otis snuggles it is good to snuggle with Ducky again. This cat came into my life shortly before my first weeklong trip to Haiti!
Sunday began the summer of church signs. I am thankful for each church that has graciously agreed to have me speak with them. Summer will also be full of time with family and friends. I hope to get to see you!
Being a missionary simply means spreading God’s word to others. This may mean doing it across the street from where you live and it may be living in a foreign country. I cannot personally speak for everyone, and I certainly cannot speak for home missionaries. But I would like to share some of my thoughts. Perhaps others will resonate with this and perhaps they won’t. Here are the best parts of being a missionary (for me, personally). Stay tuned for the worst.
Relationships
I have always been a relationship person. I enjoy getting to know people. I don’t always feel like I do a great job at this but it is something I work out. Being a missionary opens you up to having so many relationships with others. When I first moved here, I focused on relationships with other missionaries and with my students. It’s crazy to me, most of the other missionaries I never would’ve met in any other circumstance. Now, those people are my family. There are relationships with staff, either our awesome Haitian home missionaries working with RMI or the wonderful people that work in my home. To me, these are all people that God has sent my way. Not necessarily for me to minister to, but to have a relationship with them. Many, many times these people minister more to me than I do to them. Then there are the other relationships, the ones that happen unexpectedly. I have told the story before of the woman at the grocery store. (You can check it out on my Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/Love-you-to-Haiti-and-back-360457367775603. Spoiler alert: she names her baby after me.) The cool thing about relationships is that there is no end in sight. You are in that relationship, for the long haul, and not for any reason other than just loving that person. The relationships that God allows us to have should be cherished.
Learning
Learning is a constant in life. I have heard it said that a good teacher must be a good learner. I am no longer a teacher by trade but I hope I am a good learner. Learning brings so much new life into your world. As a missionary, you are constantly learning new things. Maybe you are learning a new language (Haitian Kreyol for me). Every time you understand something for the first time you feel the need to do cartwheels. You are also learning a new culture. The US is a culture of innocence and guilt while Haiti is a culture of honor and shame. It is fascinating to me to learn about why people do the things they do and how they live their lives. You are also learning a lot about God and who He is. He can open our eyes to things daily, and not just those of us that are missionaries. Lastly, you learn about yourself. In the past few years, I have learned more about myself than I ever have. I don’t think all of this combined learning would’ve been possible if I weren’t living where I am.
Seeing God work
That’s pretty vague, huh? You hear that a lot, though. People say, “I just love to see God work.” But what does that mean? I love seeing the way He moves the trees around in the wind and the way He makes the ocean waves. I love seeing Him in the face of people worshipping Him. I love hearing Him every morning in devotions as another one of His servants brings His word. I love watching Him comfort a child through our HFKz staff or grow a church through our teams and our PFs. I love getting to see what God has done over time, not just in that moment. I love the small everyday miracles that He brings to life. This is what I mean when I say I love seeing God work.
There are many, many more wonderful things about being a missionary. Some of which I cannot even begin to put into words. All of this to say, thank you. Thank you, God, for calling me to this life. Thank you to those that have been supportive, encouraging, and prayerful through it all. And thank you to those who I get to live this life with. Let’s close with another one of my favorite things about being a missionary, the food! Banann peze, diri kole, veritab, mango, juice, pates…
What a fun question! One I have asked myself before in a time of weakness. Shortly after I moved to Haiti I was walking to the school one day feeling hopeless. It had been an awful few weeks and I felt like I couldn’t do anything right. I was feeling like I had moved here in vain and really couldn’t handle it. I was doubting the whole “God doesn’t call the equipped but equips the called” thing. It was awful. I looked up flights that day. But thankfully, I remembered why I was here and how I got here. Those things, along with some friends, encouraged me enough to keep going. I hope they will somehow encourage you as well.
In this instance, the “why” may be the easier question to answer. Why am I here? It’s simple, God called me here. Maybe that sounds like an answer that stops further questions but it is the truth. God called me here, therefore I am here. I may never truly understand all of the pieces of my life that God put together in order for me to end up here, but I can share about the ones that I see and recognize. So, how did I end up here?
Let’s start at the beginning, at least as far back as I remember. I grew up in an area where trips to Haiti were frequent. There were missionaries from here that visited our area. People talked about Haiti a lot. My mom even went on a few trips. She came back with a special place in her heart carved out for this country. A country I had never been to but already started to love. I remember seeing the pictures and hearing the stories and being in awe. I know that I spent many years asking Mama when I could come on a team. I was fascinated. But as much as I thought I loved it, Haiti was far away and something that I really didn’t understand. (This is actually where the phrase “love you to Haiti and back” came from. Haiti was the farthest place I knew from home.)
In March of 2017, I visited Haiti for the first time on a team with the construction department. There was so much sorrow and beauty in every glimpse I got. All of my senses were in overload between pure joy and ultimate pain. I loved every second of my trip. But at the same time, I couldn’t quite explain what I loved. I knew I loved the kids, I loved them maybe too much. I wanted to bring all of them back to the states with me. On this trip, I truly fell in love, not just the love I had in my head for years, but love deep in my soul. I met missionaries that became a huge part of my story and now are wonderful friends. At that time, there were two ladies living at the guesthouse. One helped to teach at the missionary school as well as working with the construction department. The other encouraged me to go with her to visit the school one day. We went out to the churches that weekend and worked. On Wednesday, the team went out to work at another church and I stayed back to visit the school. It was a whirlwind of a day. I remember after we got back to the guesthouse we had a nice long (teary) chat. I asked this now good friend of mine why she was here, why Haiti? Every answer she gave me included something about how God led her here. In that moment, I realized that I had never really asked God what He wanted. I was in school for elementary education striving for a job as a kindergarten teacher. I was doing everything I had always wanted. That day was the first time I stop and asked God what He wanted for my life. I left that year with Haiti in my heart saying that I would love to visit every year but would never live here. Never say never, right?
I returned to the states after that trip feeling confused. I didn’t see much worth in the life I was living and planning to live in the States. I couldn’t get my mind off of Haiti, I brought it up in every conversation and had pictures of this country constantly playing in my mind. I spoke to some others who had visited before and I remember them saying that’s just how it is. You feel funny after the first time (maybe after every time). But have no fear, eventually, that feeling goes away. You leave those feelings for the week that you spend down there every year. So I tried. I tried to make those feelings go away but I just couldn’t. I contacted that missionary and shared my feelings with her. Two things I remember her sharing with me are “God is not a God of confusion” and “sometimes God speaks to your heart and then asks you to wait”. Both things turned out to be very impactful in my story. You see, I was confused and tormented and those feelings were not of God. I needed to stop following those feelings and instead follow Him. And speak to me He did and make me wait oh He certainly did. Sometimes that is the hardest part, the waiting.
When I finally felt as though it was God’s will, I contacted two schools. A close friend of mine has always said to go until the door slams in your face. Well, one did. While one school got back to me, the other never responded. So I started talking to the principal who really didn’t need me that year. And the waiting began. I asked if we could try to work on moving foward even without the need and so we did. She told me to contact two organizations and I did. One didn’t respond and the other did. These are the things God was doing, showing me where to go. But here’s the thing: no one knew. I hadn’t shared my heart with others yet. One evening, Mama was in the kitchen and I was sitting on the couch in the living room. She came around the corner and said, “If you ever wanted to live in Haiti you know that would be okay with me, right?” Mama doesn’t remember this happening but I can’t forget it. As I started to tell others my heart, other instances occurred. I was still in college and had not shared with my classmates or professors what I was thinking. My professor read a book and finished up by leaving us with a little encouragement to do whatever it is we were feeling like we needed to. She gave some examples, the last one being mission work. I was stunned. I shared my heart with my class that night. There were many other “little” things that moved me in a big way.
After a lot of waiting, praying, and searching I knew by my next trip to Haiti (March 2018) that I would officially be moving to Haiti in the fall. How insane! This place that just a year before I had said I would never move to. If you can only take one thing from this story let it be this: never tell God what you will and will not do. I still had the pleasure of going out to the job and spending time with the Haitian people I had grown to love. I also had the opportunity to meet some of the missionaries I would be living with. As well as visiting my house and the school. It was an exhausting and wonderful week. That week calmed some of my fears and brought about new ones.
In August of 2018, I moved to Haiti. I had a one-year contract to teach at the missionary school. I was teaching four 2nd graders. It was a wonderful year. Yes, there were many hardships. Many times where I felt alone and uncertain. Many times where I questioned, “God, why am I here?” The bright spot in my days was my students. Seeing their sweet smiles and getting their big hug attacks never failed to make me remember why. In February of that year, I was suddenly sent back to the states as there was a lot of unrest in the country. This was something we had been keeping our eye on but I thought I would be staying here. Those few weeks that I was in the states were the hardest part of that year. Trying to figure out where I fit in with the friends and family I had left behind didn’t mesh. I missed my students and my new family here in Haiti. Returning home was joyous and made me realize just how much this had become home to me. In the spring I gained a fifth student who was is 1st grade. She brought more joy to our class, it was like our little famly had a hole that we didn’t know was there and she filled it. Also during this year (fall 2018-spring 2019) I felt led to change mission organizations. After much prayer, thought, and counsel I moved from WorldTeam to RMI. Both are wonderful mission organizations that I am glad to have the pleasure of working with. Like all things in life, I just had to find the one that fit me best.
I returned in August of 2019 unsure. I wasn’t unsure of everything, of course. I was very sure that God wanted me in Haiti and I was sure that I would be teaching. But I was unsure of so much more. I didn’t quite know what I would be teaching. I also was moving into the transition of living alone. I wound up teaching three grade levels: five 1st graders, two 2nd grades, and four 3rd graders. I had all four of my students from the first year returning as well as some of their siblings and several other new students. It was a hard year teaching-wise. I had students with varying levels of English, thank goodness for ESOL in college! I struggled with feeling like I couldn’t give any of my students enough of myself. They loved me through it. I was starting to feel that God wanted me to serve elsewhere but I didn’t know where to go. All I had ever known was teaching, what else could I do? I didn’t want my students to feel that I was abandoning them but I had to do what was best for me. No, I had to do what is best for all of us, I had to follow God.
When COVID hit Haiti we started doing school at home online as best that we could. During this time, I started talking and working some with our Hope for Kidz team at RMI. I don’t recall when exactly I began but I know there was some sort of overlap. Since then, I have continued to work with HFKz. My job amazes me every day. I love seeing all the work that we are able to do for these kids and the future of Haiti. I adore the people that I work with. For the time being, I feel that this will be my home for a while. I am content in where the Lord has called me. I don’t know how long this time in this job or in Haiti will last but I pray that I will continue to follow the Lord’s calling through it all. I am so thankful for the blessings that I have received and the hardship I have endured throughout this journey.
I will be returning to the states for about two months this summer. During this time I would love to see you and/or your church family! Check out the calendar below to know where I will be when and to see availabilities. If you would like to schedule something as a church or as an individual, please let me know! It is always a struggle to spend quality time with everyone I would like to but we can always try! Please pray for this visit and continue to pray as I return home in August for another year of ministry.
Flying with Agape in December. A beautiful sunset over the ocean.
As a kid, getting mail was always one of my favorite things! I remember Mama letting me sign up for the “mailbox club”. When that letter came in every month I was so excited to go and get it! I still love getting mail to this day (as long as it isn’t bills). Nothing makes my day more than getting a letter or package in the mail. Thanks to an awesome mission, Agape Flights, I have the ability to receive mail. Agape is a wonderful mission located in Venice, FL. I had the opportunity to visit with them in December of 2020 and meet all of the sweet people there. They fly to several countries in the Caribbean, serving missionaries. I highly suggest checking out their website https://www.agapeflights.com/ or following them on Facebook https://web.facebook.com/agape.flights/ to learn more about their mission!
They come into Cayes almost every Thursday to deliver mail to home and foreign missionaries living and serving in Southern Haiti. I have had the pleasure of assisting in our post office here in Cayes several times. It is so exciting for us all to receive sweet letters from friends and supporters, important things we need for ministry that we can’t purchase here, and sometimes fun little treats for us.
Otis arrived to Haiti via Agape in August of 2019.
I returned to the states on Agape in December 2020.
If you are interested in sending something to me you can do so easily by mailing it to Tessa Andrews c/o Agape Flights 30420 100 Airport Ave E. Venice, FL 32485. Letters coming in and out are free of charge for me. Packages coming in are charged for shipping and customs per pound. If you send something, I ask that you consider donating to those costs. While it doesn’t sound like a big price, it does add up! You can find all information about sending packages and paying for shipping on their website if you follow this link: https://www.agapeflights.com/send-a-package/. Of course, if you have any questions you can contact me or Agape Flights. Something to keep in mind is that it sometimes takes a while for a package to get to me.
This mission is one that I am so very thankful for! How awesome is it that I can get things that I may need or want they may not be available to me here in Haiti as well as letters from sweet friends. And I get the fun of opening up mail again!
April has been a bittersweet month! Here are some of the highlights.
The month started out with celebrating Easter. We had a few days off of work. These were great days of rest and fellowship with my fellow missionaries! Otis and I had our little friend, Kambria, we got to enjoy a delicious steak dinner brought in by a sweet team back in January, and we celebrated Easter with a sunrise service. The next week brought MEBSH annual convention. We were unable to have convention last year because of COVID restrictions. It was nice to see the event return this year. Convention brings many, many people into Simon. People that cannot come can listen on the radio or watch it. It is broadcast live on Facebook as well. I really enjoy walking down the Simon road and seeing all of the hustle and bustle.
I was lucky enough to have two visitors with me this month. Mama and Renata spent a week here with Otis and I. We went on some adventures and also just spent some downtime together. More fun photos from that week to come on all of our Facebooks, I am sure!
Ministry wise, we have been working on getting new applicants for next fall. This means traveling to the church, taking down the information, and taking a photo of the child. Then we return to the office to enter the informaiton into our system and edit the photos to be printed in the states. We have also been passing out the gifts that sponsors send for the children. Mama and Renata had a chance to do that with us. It is always such a blessing to witness.
An afternoon well spent with two sweet friends.
Your continued prayers are much appreciated. Please remember the country of Haiti, the leaders and the people. Pray for my fellow missionaries as it is coming up to the time of year for furlough and many will be traveling. I am not yet sure when I personally will be traveling but I hope to know sometime soon.
A while ago I did a poll asking what people want to see more of. Well, the poll came back with results that weren’t very helpful. All options were chosen almost equally! So I will be sharing more and more of varying things. I ask that you please let me know when you really enjoy something so that I can share more of that. It is a struggle for me sometimes to know what people are interested in. I need your input.
If you know me, you know that my dog is a very big part of my life. He is for sure who I spend the majority of my time with. It may sound silly to some but he is my best friend. Today, I would like to share some about my dog. I apologize if you aren’t interested. I will be working on different posts to come in the near future.
Otis was born to a breeder near Atlanta, GA. He is a basset hound, bred by DeYampert Hounds. (Check them out if you are in the market for a basset. They were so incredibly sweet and helpful!) The timing worked perfectly for me! I got him about a week or two before heading back to Haiti. He stayed with Mama for a little over a week before flying in on Agape. Since then he has become a wonderful companion for me. He has many friends both in human and dog form. He is typically calm and relaxed, entertaining himself. He loves to snuggle and just be around people. Everyone around here helps to keep him nice and spoiled. He doesn’t like baths or getting his nails cut. He is easygoing with kids. He has many, many nicknames. He typically responds better to commands given in kreyol and ALWAYS comes running when he smells popcorn. I have so many stories about this silly dog! I have told Mama many times that he is the best present I have ever received.
The story of Frank
Frank was the puppy before Otis. I got him at only 5 days old. His mother was refusing to care for her babies. Frank died at 10 days old. Otis came shortly after.
This month the HFKz team and PF’s have been hard at work delivering all of the gifts that you send to your sponsored child and sister churches. It is so wonderful to see the smiling faces as they recieve their gifts. The pastors are very happy to receive food boxes that they can share with the needy in their church. Kids reactions are always so fun! We recently delivered a goat to a little girl who is apparently afraid of them. She was happy to get such a treasured gift from her sponsor but didn’t want to get too close! I love getting to travel with our team to these different churches and schools. It is great kreyol practice for me. I feel like I learn something new about the Haitian culture and the kreyol language every time. If you are interested in sending gifts to your child or church, check out the RMI website. You can also check out the Hope for Kidz facebook page to catch videos of your kids.
I was blessed to spend one Saturday this month on the Island of Saint Louis with several other ladies. I have visited this island several times before and always enjoy it. It is so full of history and wonder. I love listening to those that actually know the history explain what has happened here. This island was at one time a fort. There are still ruins that you can explore if you dare. I tend to avoid that part, I would rather not bother spiders in their homes. Right on the beach is a sunken ship and another one a little further off. It was a great day of rest getting to spend time with friends and getting to know new friends.
As of March 16th my house officially has solar power! What a blessing and surprise that this is. I want to thank everyone that made this possible. This system is going to be such a big help to me!
Thank you to all who continue to pray for me. It is such an encouragement to know that there are people that love me enough to bring me before the throne of the Almighty.
Love You to Haiti and Back 